i'm the type that will pop the clip in

Okay, kids. Time for some Learning With mk3a2, otherwise titled: the Trials and Tribulations of Life in Egypt as a Woman Who Takes Shit from No One Except Murray Dry.

To give a little background as to this post, I will say this: two of my colleagues have posted entries to their respective blogs that quite honestly degrade their fellow students' experiences by broad-sweeping, generic generalizations about our feelings concerning life in Egypt. This emphasis is important. To paraphrase what has been said, these two fellows (and they are both males, another important thing to note) believe that we, the rest of the students, are "angry at Egyptian culture," and unable to adjust to a way of life that is so very different from what we are used to. One of the in particular stated, "I DO NOT believe some of them should be going into this [international] field of work." Now, kids, I'd like to think we're all a bunch of moderately intelligent beings: what would be the problem here?

Let's start at the beginning. The above mentioned posters are, as I stated, boys. They are able to make statements regarding their own experiences and to a certain extent, they are allowed to expand their views to their own group, namely the other males in the program. If this was the United States -- if this was Europe -- the generalization could theoretically include the women, as well. But this is Egypt. Here, our experiences of life and culture are fundamentally different, and in many ways, infinitely more difficult. No matter what my professor insists about the Qur'an and gender equality, the fact of the matter remains that Egyptian society is not gender equal. It is very, very painfully obvious. I appreciate the fact that the boys get stared at wherever they go for being foreigners and so not-the-status-quo that they stick out like sore thumbs for curious passers-by. But their staring is not the same as ours. The best I can describe it is thus: nearly every man I walk past will stare at me. I am not averse to catcalls (I flaunted that shit in Istanbul) but in an appreciative way. In Egypt, it is not appreciative so much as it is leering, creepy, and sometimes crude and cruel. Many men who stare at us do it in such a way as to deliberately make us uncomfortable, and you can tell they are not thinking kind thoughts. "Undressing you with their eyes" may seem somewhat poetic, but this is the type of undressing that, say, a visual rapist does as opposed to a poet. Mind you, I have no illusions that this sort of thing happens in the US, too -- men there are just able to hide it better.

What perhaps irks me the most is that one of the boys mentioned that he hasn't talked to any of us (the women) about our lives in Egypt. Unfortunately, neither of them has ever asked any of us, so the blame for their heavily male-dominated viewpoints probably lies somewhere in that shortcoming.

I will never be able to see my experiences in Egypt without the lens of my gender. It is impossible. Virtually everything here is tied to which version of genitalia one possesses -- for example, it is a very bad idea for women to be out on the streets without a male figure past eleven o'clock at night. I was standing on the street last night waiting for Karim to pick me up at eight forty and I was propositioned twice by men passing by in cars who just figured I was a prostitute because I was alone. One car even stopped a few feet down the road and idled there for a few minutes, waiting for me to walk over and get in. This does not happen to men.

Moreover, I feel personally slighted by the accusations of my colleagues because they have so blatantly mistaken my grudge against the academic program here as a deep rooted hatred for Egyptian culture. I dislike things about specific people here in Egypt. I don't like the lack of personal space, the seemingly pervasive attitude of "me first," and the fact that someone in the medina stole my sweater off the drying rack two days ago. But I don't think all Egyptians can't respect personal space, or put others before them, or are all thieves. These are things you can find the world over. I can even live with the harassment. This is not the place where I want to live the rest of my days, but it is not hell and I am not angry at Egyptian culture. Those who know me know that when I get mad at something, I get really fucking pissed and I know exactly what set me off and why. I do not like losing control of the personal details of my life as I have here in the dorms -- but it's temporary, and I wholeheartedly believe that should I be living in an apartment instead, I would be so very much happier.

My issues here in Egypt stem 98% from the quality of the academic program. I honestly feel as if I have wasted an entire semester to half-assed teaching and a complete lack of any interesting, engrossing, or important topics. I despise going to class. I have never really hated an academic setting before -- I have disliked several of my American classes to a great extent, but there was never any real struggle over whether or not I wanted to go to class (for the most part). Here, however, it doesn't matter -- the fact of the matter is that I do not want to go to class, and there is nothing in the world save the desire to not fail this semester that is driving me to complete my studies. I want to learn Arabic. I want to learn Egyptian colloquial. I want engaging, thoughtful classes on politics and religion. I find nothing of good quality here.

If I did not have to go to class, and if I was out of this shithole they call the women's dorms, I would be fine. If I was working in Egypt and living in an apartment with friends, I would be fine. I have absolutely nothing against Egyptian culture. I will honestly confess that there are many issues of society that need to be addressed, not least of all the status of women and basic health/sanitation problems, but these are things that every country on Earth has had to deal with at one time or another, and will continue to deal with for ages to come. Why, not fifty years ago, women were still earning fifty cents to every dollar a man earned in the United States -- we're not the bastion of moral good that we like to play.

I am debating whether or not to sit down with these two boys and have it out with them. I don't like thinking that they believe I am incompetent, biased, and inflexible. I also find naivete exceedingly obnoxious (as you can probably guess, I am a political realist through and through). I am not stupid and I believe that I am by far more ruthless coldly calculating than either of them (and I'm not going to lie, as of right now I feel I am also more inclusive of others' viewpoints and experiences), and there is no reason to lump everyone together in the "YOU ARE TOO NEOCON TO DO THE WORLD GOOD" group. Sorry, colleagues. You have failed me in this respect. So much for liberal arts colleges teaching you to view the world from every angle before making a judgment.

(and yes, the use of "boys" rather than "men" when referring to said colleagues was an intentional vocabulary choice)

another truckstop on the way another game that I can play another word I learn to say

another blasted customs post another bloody foreign coast another set of scars to boast

WE ARE THE ROAD CREW